Marriage, Trueness Versus Newness


Marriage, Trueness Versus Newness

There is a saying that: If it is true, it is not new…If it is new, then it is not true.
In a healthy and successful marriage, this is a daily discovery that men and women come to realize without end.

That is the whole point of marriage is it not? The discovery phase of the relationship. Well at least it was in the beginning. Curiosity was at it’s height when we were dating and after getting serious enough to make that next step. Don’t get ahead of me!

As I look back on those of summer days and evenings of chasing butterflies and fireflies, life had it’s own deliberate purpose and I had come to the realization that I could not control it…nor did I want to control it…it was after all, perfect.

Certainly true in every sense of the word … and new enough to never want to let it go.

I speak of the marriage relationship in terms of knowing that moment in time when things simply could not have been any better. A time when you could easily shut out the rest of the meddling, dishonest, hurting world and be thankful for your life. A time when you did not have to explain every little item of your personal feelings about what you said or did…it was simply understood. Kind of like when a persons word was his bond. A handshake spoke volumes.

The newness of marriage stares life square in the face of reality and defies it to make a difference. I mean that you simply can not get or have a better outlook in a relationship than that of being married. It encompasses every nuance of the best there is that a relationship has to offer to the pleasant extreme and the daunting worst that mankind can inflict upon us.
That my friend is exactly why and when you discover the trueness of life upon finding the one special person that you want to run through fields chasing butterflies by day and fireflies by night with, you discover that nothing else really matters.

Marriage holds true the thoughts that love, money, trust, hope and security are all the blessings of good fortune that will forever entwine two people “til death us do part”.true versus new

Either that or her first home cooked meal because she had never cooked a meal before!
Ahhhh…the ties that bind us together.

If it is true, it is not new…If it is new, then it is not true.

Not quite the conundrum that some will have you believe what married life is all about. Respect and authority rules with an iron, firm, yet fair and just hand when two people come together to be as one. It is out of that dedication and love for one another that a successful marriage is birthed, raised and starts a long and winding road to forever together.

Very much like the 30 plus years that have kept me entertained thus far!

I have no doubt whatsoever that you will find and share this sentiment if you have not already. Whether trueness or newness, you will find your way to happiness and one day will pass on your thoughts, trials and tribulations as well as all the joys that you put in your bucket of life to claim as your rights to a successful marriage.

I applaud you.

A Friend in Business and Life…Always,

Married Life, Lightening And Thunder, The Mother Of All Storms

Just like any and most storms on the horizon of life, married life is a given.

Yes Siree Bob…the sunny days of a healthy and happy relationship can give way to the thunder and lightening of up drafts and down drafts that can one minute hide the sparks of matrimony and in the next, open the very same floodgates of varying emotions.

Like lightening and thunder: you can see when it is coming…and…you feel it when it when you don’t.

The weather patterns of day to day living are pretty much the same as that of a successful or not so successful marriage. You see when you compare the two, the periods of whatever activity is happening in your life can be matched to the unintended conditions of your environment. Take for example when it’s raining, you are probably no doubt in somewhat of a wet or at least a damp mood. Whereas, weather wise, if the sun is shinning, you are probably kicking up your heels with joy and exclamation.

Marriage tends to run the gamut of emotions and weather related patterns in our lives and we can chart the ebb and flow just like the monthly paycheck and carrying a rain coat. It’s not that unpredictable when it comes to how, when and where our emotions get the best of us. Good days – feeling good. Dark and cloudy days – feeling not so good.

So what is the answer you ask. Pack up and move to Hawaii?storms
You know as well as I do…that just is not going to happen (at least anytime soon…but I am working on it!)

But just like the thunder and lightening in our daily lives, our married lives can come equipped with certain protections that can make our day. If we have good (sunny) days, we tend to uncover, release a wealth of happiness to all around us. If we tend to get depressed by dark (cloudy/stormy) days, we want our significant other to know that we are hurting and need their comfort. We want to see when the bad stuff is coming and not have to feel it when we don’t see it coming.

What is a marriage, and especially a successful marriage, can best be described as the Mother of all storms!

No No No….it is not fighting or arguing or any of that silly goofy disagreeing stuff…married life runs the range of emotional weather patterns that best defines the make up of your success in health, wealth and happiness.

Just remember guys: Happy Wife…Happy Life”.

Now all I need is a good weather analogy for women towards men. Hmmmmm….
I’ll let you ponder that one for yourself. Let me know what you come up with. As they say, good luck with that!

You will no doubt make it as a success in your marriage as long as you don’t go running down the fairway of love and romance carrying a long shiny pointy metal thing that will surely attract the lightening of your spouse. And by the way…posturing with rumbles of thunder as you try to get your way will get you nowhere quick too!

Just like the weather, thunder and lightening, good and/or bad, marriage is a compromise…and the best umbrella you have for a rainy day or your favorite hat to shade you on a hot sunny day … is the person you committed to for better or worse, for richer or poorer…hum along if you know the words.

A Friend in Business and Life, Always,


Marriage, Married Life And The Mother Of All Apologies

What is right with the world? Well that seems to be the problem!
Let’s just back up a few years in this 30 plus year saga.
Marriage and married life is not a problem. The issue these days seems to be how it is being done. Apology accepted.

When I started this writing it was with the intent that I was going to apologize to my spouse as publicly as possible. There is absolutely nothing wrong with marriage, married life or mothers in general!

But if I had to make an apology (and I gladly do) to anyone, it would indeed be to my spouse for all the hours, days, weeks, months and years of not understanding her.
Let me clarify that just a little further.
More times than not, I have said that I hear and understand those feelings, conversations, ideas and not only what was being said, but actually what was meant in the delivery.
Well I did not. To put it mildly, I failed miserably!

We as male beings tend to end conversations we do not want to have by sometimes agreeing to and not really listening to and most certainly not understanding the why of what was said. Well…no more…

I hereby proclaim by all that is right on her behalf that I now do understand and offer to apologize on my behalf for not listening and understanding wholeheartedly.

If you are looking for specifics here…don’t.
First and foremost, there would be a guh-zillion. Not only would it not be fair to list any of those specifics, as you no doubt know, the most probable and damaging one’s would be left off the list …and we all know what that would lead to! No arguments here.

To be totally fair and honest though, at this particular point in time it would be best and a heck of a lot safer to start with day one of the courtship and pen every moment to paper all those atrocities of love and romance and simply call it the encyclopedia of the mother of all apologies…volume one.

A successful marriage is the epitome of understanding no matter the cause or course of he said she said. This is where your poor wretched and tortured soul begins to comprehend the effects of just how idiotic can one person be towards another.apology
No amount of apologizing can ever make up for the inconsiderate behaviors you have displayed during the course of the long term relationship.
After all, she is the one sustained and endured all my misgivings all these years.

The mother all apologies is just the beginning of this heartfelt process and I can only earnestly hope that she accepts it with the grace and dignity that I have come to know that she as a person has for me.

Nothing ventured…nothing gained.
I said I do then … and I meant it.
As married men, we have been saying I do ever since.
That makes the above statement now to read…Everything ventured…everything gained.

A Friend in Business and Life… Always,




Your Greatest Weakness Is Your Unguarded Strength

The success of a marriage depends on a great many sacrifices to be made on behalf of both parties involved. Some would even consider that it be a 50/50 equal proposition.

If you have been married for any length of time you know as well as the most educated of wise men that equality not only has nothing to do with a successful marriage as much as the fact that there is and always will be one in the union that bears the greatest weakness while the other shares an unguarded strength.

Married life was and is supposed to be one of the greatest selfless wonders of the world. The perfect harmony of a man and a woman to carry out the life long challenges of love and happiness have been written high in the stars and and as low as grains of sand on the beaches of the world for thousands of years, and yet it is not always a true conviction that it lasts.

Not even the smooth silky notes of the likes of an Al Green or a Barrack Obama singing “I’m so in love with you” could ever win over the many facets of such love as it has been intended.

A successful marriage comes about in the throes of man’s humanity to his fellow beings. Passion and compassion speaks volumes when people get involved with one another for the sake of that long sought after equality in a marriage.

Truth be told, it is indeed that the time that two people are forced to spend with one another is what brings out the worst in us just to get to the best in each other.  Successful Marriage

Once the relationship becomes somewhat stable, all the other outside influences begin to take their toll on the maturity level of a man and a woman such that it will become the standard that defines their character towards one another. The overall relationship of trust becomes the underlying venue to for a long and lasting time together.

Love, marriage and finances become the measure by which love birds like me and mine hold each other accountable.
Words, money, people and things can become among the greatest detractors in a successful marriage (or any relationship) and can led to the loss of respect and honor between a man and a woman.

Words hurt and cannot be taken back once said.
Money has been the ruin of many a good man. Even the most sincere and caring people can confuse the issues surrounding their life and not meaning to, but do, add to their woes.
Things and possession, including other people, become your greatest weakness taking away from your unguarded strength.

You were not meant to be weak in your marriage and your married life. You were not meant to go through your life with you strength of character being left unguarded, to be attacked when you would least expect it.

Your are a person of principle and your principles matter in your marriage. Stay the course of your convictions and above all…be happy in all that you do.

A successful marriage depends on you because you depend on the success of your partner in life.

A friend in Business and Life, Always,


Paper Planes And Boats And Trains…


Paper Planes And Boats And Trains…

Paper planes and boats and trains … these are a few of my favorite things.
In an economy long past, these were the things that our dreams were made of.
They were the things that were to define our futures.
Very early in our marriage, these things were not even on the menu of life as we knew it. They were merely ideas of a romantic time in our history like so many others that we came to try to live by.

In a successful marriage, there has to be plans. Plans are the foundations upon which we not only build our hopes and dreams, but also the platform from which we launch those very dreams, hopes, wants and desires of life.
Married life represented (at that time) a stability that was captured in movies, TV and song. It was truly a great time to be a dreamer. But you and I know all to well that dreams don’t pay the bills!

Marriage, finances and money represents a totally different story in our world of reality today.
If you are fortunate enough to come up with a model paper plane, boat or train … you could very well possibly corner the market on new toys for children or great escapes for adults. In our new age of electronics it seems that everything that is new is really old…or at least based on an old idea.a dream

The new fangled super heroes of the computer and internet age were born many years ago in the fertile minds of dreamers who lay in grassy fields staring up at clouds and wondering what the brave new world would become one day.
As in marriage and married life, there come an awakening that in order to carry out our innermost dreams, we have to first and foremost have a dream.

So much of our existence today is made up of literally living from paycheck to paycheck.
Life happens. And before you know it, you are caught in the ongoing seemingly never ending exhaustive strata of just making it from day to day. For a lot of people there is no time for dreaming of paper planes and boats and trains and other things. They simply have lost the will to dream or even worse have had the will forced or taken from them.

That is by no means a reason to give up hope. When we got married we had as much of the highest of ideas for a future of safety and comfort as any of you may have had or continue to have. It is just a matter of setting priorities.
I did not say it would be easy.
I am saying that all is not lost. It is just a matter of deciding what you really want out of your marriage.

If paper planes and boats and trains are in your future…you should be doing all you can to see that that happens for you and your spouse.
You started with a dream, why not finish the race with your prize clearly envisioned as having been won already. You deserve that much.

I have faith in you. You do have a song to sing…and the world needs to hear it!

A Friend in Business…and Life…Always,


  • Categories
  • Recent Posts